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Tuesday, December 18, 2012

all i want 4xmas iz u (cover)

christmas cover-loveletter to libby, @ blondunderwater, who made the request.  She comes by her fondness for it honestly, as a result of
                                               loveactually
, which many people also love, especially if they've been college-aged and wearing sweatpants at any point in the last decade or so.  Song by Mariah Carey and Walter Afanasieff.


Monday, November 12, 2012

I stuck my head in the old Lexmark X5270...

...Now all I smell is FedEx!!!  ...  !!!

Saturday, November 10, 2012

devils dine, new cut of an olde favourite

i wrote this one way back in '04.  finally figured out what it needed: Vincent Price-style laughter.  really though, the same could be said for anything...  note the many devilish THINGS all over this  advance premix, comin atcha straight-on from HELL!

Devils Dine
so...
what're my yeaaaahptions?

how long we gonna...  DO this?  i'm having a heart attack here waiting for this Benghazi thing to...

i don't know.  develop.

i ought to be talking to somebody other than myself about this...

so.

i guess...

that's where YOU kind of fit in.
see i'm casting as wide a net as--as it were--as i can...
hopefully drag something out of the...

well, anyway...  i need a special kind of favor, and i think you've got what it takes, which is GRIT.

have you got GRIT, kid?

i thought so.

take this [SUNBURST FLAG PIN] to the Mayor.
tell him i sent you.  he will tell you its story.

then he will very likely offer you a substantial amount of money for the item.
agree to his terms.
return to me with the money.  understood?

Saturday, October 20, 2012

"Well, Lieutenant?  What do we see?
"Plans, sir."
"Plans?  What kind of plans?
"Well, from what I can decipher right here--my first guess right off the bat is unmanned aircraft."
"Unmanned aircraft..."
"Drone, sir."
"Yes, yes, drones--the plans were for drones.  Well, what are they?  Ours?  Our plans?"
"Ah, negative on that, sir.  I've got a mark and some scoring over here on the--right there...  Indicates folding, and you see right there--ink, like a stamp, a seal..."
"Ink."
"...Which would indicate maybe that it was folded up into some kind of--of government dossier, or some such...  Arrangement."
"Hmm.  You don't think all of this is somehow part of their plan right now?"
"Excuse me?"
"Wait, what'd you say you thought it was?"
"I--I said I thought maybe plans for some type of unmmanned aircraft.  Surveillance drone, probably.  Very lightweight."
"Huh."
"My guess is it was folded up into a--a folder or a packet.  Eight-by-eleven.  It's been filed with other official documents."
"Yyyyyeah.  With the fold marks.  So who's is it?  You got an agency?"
"Can't say yet.  We'll run spectrals on the ink, match it to something in our database.  That should tell us a lot."
"Good, Lieutenant.  Reminds me as a kid I used to make planes.  Paper planes, you know.  Boy, I always wanted to fly.  God I wanted to fly.  Neighbor kid got one of those remote-controlled planes for Christmas one year.  That was in Florida, you know, so he was out--we were all out in the street by early afternoon with our new gear, and Paul--that was the kid's name--Paul had his remote-controlled plane.  And he needed a decent amount of space, you know, for that plane to take off.  He needed, like, an actual runway, haha!  And all the kids out there with their new scooters and footballs and rollerblades--well, you should have seen it!  Totally bonkers, and NO ONE would get out of the road to make any room for poor Paul's plane to get a good takeoff.  I mean, there were babies crawling around out there getting in the way of the street hockey.  It was bumpin'.  And there you got Paul, pleading with the street, trying to make room, hahaha!  Oh, that poor kid.  You've got to hope if there's a God in Heaven that he's a pilot today...  Are you still with me, Lieutenant?"
"Of course, Sir.  No, I was just thinking about something you said...  Right at the beginning of your story you said something about liking paper airplanes, making paper airplaines."
"Yeah, I used to make them all the time.  Customize 'em, experiment with different designs.  You build some for gliding, some for turning, dive-bombing, that sort of thing.  Great fun.  We need more of that in schools."
"No doubt, Sir.  So...  But what if that's...  That's exactly-- you just said it.  Weird.  So, I think that might be exactly what we're dealing with here, Sir."
"Paper planes?"
"These plans...  They're also the building materials!  Look!  This is how those schoolkids pulled it off, the clever little bastards!  They're the spies!  They cooked this whole thing up themselves!  Amazing."
"Huh.  Well, I'm never amazed anymore.  Not these days.  Good work, Lieutenant.  Keep me updated on your progress."
"...Ah, yes, of course.  You will be the first to know anything we find."
"Very well.  Carry on."