Thursday, March 27, 2008


Good afternoon!
Last night the Widows played another Hotel Cafe gig--thanks to you all who came out! This was an exciting night--we debuted two--count'em, TWO--new songs... One even that had our first three-part harmony in a live show... Right there at the end, after Mazochi blew up his guitar and his amp and had to play on the acoustic through the DI... But I thought it went great! It didn't suck!
Yes, this was a wild, warped evening occasion--first thing when Mazochi and I get to the place to unload our equipment, guess who's holding the door for me like just the sweetest, most elegant lady in the world? None other than the elegant Miss Drew Barrymore, who is just the nicest, most gracious lady in person. Also one of those individuals very capable of leaving me starstruck, which she did.
Of course, then you flash forward a couple of hours and my friends and I run into her again... And now my star-stricken-ness has been replaced by sloppy drunkenness... Probably best I blacked out most of that affair... After I told Justin Long how much I thought he added to Die Hard 4 with tears in my eyes... It couldn't conceivably have improved.
At any rate, you can flash forward to this morning, where I'm throwing up just outside a roadside horseranch, in the hills, on the way to Malibu Beach, where I stagger out onto the clean white sand and pass out while my friends are watching a seal, a dolphin, and a whale play in the surf.

We need to save this planet.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Everyone is Born Weak and Small

Hello there! Here is a quick bit of advice from my favorite power-lifter, Mike Miller, rendered here in Q&A form compliments of Critical Bench, the biggest bench press site on the net!

9) Critical Bench: You will probably go down in the eyes of many as an icon. You were one of the best powerlifters, the biggest and you left on top. How would you address all the lifters who aren't elite yet? What message would you like to give them?

Mike Miller: Lift for yourself, dont be afraid to try something radical, think outside the box. If it doesn't work don't keep doing it. Seek advice from someone who has accomplished something and 'Ignore the ramblings of the ignorant, and step on or over their crumpled bodies as you make your way to the top of the mountain. Eat upon their flesh for fuel and through your determination and will banish them to obscurity and a life of complacency and self righteousness that is the hell in which they live.' Richard Safreed [said that].

'Nuff said!

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Puritan's Progress

Yes! Mountain Man is proceeding swimmingly. We had an excellent first few days of shooting. Seems everyone is pleasantly surprised. That makes me feel very good. I was, of course, very nervous--I am the star, of course. Of course, I'm always a star--I'm talking naturally, here--but still, on a project with this kind of profile (read: HIGH)... I was nervous.
I worked with a lovely young lady named Ashlee. It helps to have a lovely, young, and gracious lady to work with in a high pressure situation. Helps push you in the direction of your A-game. That's probably why the movie Speed is so good.

"...there's six people to every marriage--precedents set by the parents, family life--where they put the dish towels, how often they take out the trash--you know, people like to think they're individuals, but there's really a lot more going on... When you live together, you really realize that every marriage actually involves six people..."

Anyway, we'll be filming again on Saturday and Sunday. Dolly shots are next, I think. A whole big long day of smooth, silky-slick dolly moves. Then a day-long timelapse of me sitting under a tree, from sunup to sundown. I hope there's pizza!


Also, the band played last night at this country-themey general-storzey type place called Hallenbeck's, I believe. Just to do their open mic there to spread the word... Had a great response. If... I think our elders have foggy impressions of what they want... From us... I'm not sure what I'm trying to say. I think our thoughts... I think grandmothers and babies all want to have sex.

Friday, March 14, 2008

qt--Director's Cut

Hey there. Tough day, great day!
Woke up around 7-ish...fifteen-ish... For a 6:30 call. Crisp, cold morning. The nights are still cold here on the mountain. Well, I did wake up at 5:30... Maybe 5:22 if I remember correctly... Toby was scratching on the door to be let out. Bullshit. It wasn't even light outside. I sat up to check after he continued--FOUR or FIVE more times--to scratch to be let out. Like I was going to walk him to his dog run in the final precious moments of morning darkness. Like Hell. I ended up grabbing him and wrapping him like a Miller-Toby Taco in my blanket.
Sometimes, when Mazochi's away, and I live a couple nights in his home/office with the cat... Sometimes his dwelling begins to inhabit YOU. It's got THAT much mojo. Rovin Gambla, whuh-whaaa! Woo-woo!
The first shots of Mountain Man involved me, dressed simply in a sheet wrapped about my waist and crotch--like an Indian dhoti, if you are familiar with traditional types of Indian dress--involved me running down a mountainside in cowboy boots and not a ton much else except for tons of beads and shells and such around my neck and wrists and a weaved headband... Listen to me... I'm secretly obsessed... I had tribal paint in red and brown on my face and chest and belly. I got a lot of sun... God. Too much sun. Fucking rookie. No, that's horseshit. I think I secretly wanted that too. Now my back hurts. Red. Need. Aloe.
...Involved me running down a mountainside with a hatchet and a gun, firing wildly into the air, screaming, running into and across the ice cold river, over and over, running up and over the rocks and boulders of the opposite bank, screaming and pointing a gun at two hapless hikers, injured by my poison darts. Just to start. Over and over again. It was awesome. And I, like a dumbass, got a sunburn, which is just annoying considering continuity but not probably a major concern... We had a great time. Shot lots. I'll have lots of pictures soon... Well, har, I think I'll find some of those pics on some other blogs and steal them.
Oh yeah, and then Uncle Hans stopped by with steaks and beers and then we went out to Joselito's, which is the first place I took Ox when he first moved out here,

,and to which Ox had requested we go on account of it was the last day of his visit.
We went, and we drank margaritas. I had a margarita, and then I had a margarita grande, which was the larger size, on account of I like all that extra salt that fits around the larger goblet. That's what that shit was. A GOBLET.
Then--Tedd was the DD--me, Hans, Josh, and Tedd went on a zany drive about Foothill Boulevard looking for Polaroid film. Josh actually bought the last unit of Polaroid film in Tujunga from the Rite-Aid by the Ralph's. He wanted more, but it was simply all too impossible to find. End of an era. 10 magical memories for $19.
A good day.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Secret Mountain Post, Pre-Mountain Man

Question: What kind of car does an exorcist drive?
-Looks like a... Some sort of shiny Chrysler sedan. I'm glad he agreed to help that haunted family.
Hi. I'm Mike Miller. I'm at Chuck's, the television is on, and I'm amazed by the Discovery Channel.
QUICK UPDATE! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
Last night we did the "table reading" of the first shoot of the Mountain Man project. It was very fun! Matt Mangs has written a great script. Table reading means we sat at a table and read the script. With acting on.
Today we prepare for shooting bright and early tomorrow morning. God, I just had to turn off the TV. Well, the sound of it. The visual was already off because I was using the computer and writing to you. More economical that way. Or eco-friendly. Something. Anyway, there was a whole bunch of girls talking about something called (and forgive the spelling, I could only hear it so I'm gonna go phonetic here) "Hoo-dia-shure," kind of like Ensure- or Pediasure-style naming conventions... "Whodyasure! The hardest working Who-do-ya' product on the market!"
And then there were these testimonials, and I couldn't see the screen or anything, but it pretty much sounded like it would sound on the radio in one of those aggressive, testimonials-driven-pseudoscience miracle-based product spots... There were these girls--all hot sounding--giving... Testimony.
Anyway, the first one, to my ear, sounded very, very sarcastic.

The rest were...

Not so convincing. It was just... What? Wh-where am I? Wh-Where am I?
We have a Buffmillox show tonight on the Ranch. Ox is here for another day or two. I have to go practice with them soon. Also have to get together with Mangs and go over costumes for the shoot. Yee-HAW! That's what Howard Dean should have said after his Iowa disappointment. Ah well. He's got some crazy power now, way as I see it. Spitzer was a superdelegate... It's really coming down to the arrangement of those delegates, way as I see it... Maybe a little more like in early TV days, when those programmers ran tallies during the successive rounds of the convention, waiting for a winner to emerge. Right? Didn't that happen? Yeah. Now we get minute-by-minute, micro-by-macro, but essentially edited programming packages, with main focuses, filling up more billable time but essentially filling the same amalgous demographic voids... Just refraction and soulless industry really pushing it and us... But essentially a lot like back then... So...

Am I trying to say... The democratic race reminds me more of back then? No, that would be wrong, right? I think so, because I think I just said media now is still essentially the same as back then, just refracted and spurred by industry spurred by the stock market boardroom carrot-lash. You ever been whipped by a carrot? Or had one whipped at you? A big one?

It HURTS! And so does the Elliot Spitzer thing. But that guy fucked with the carrot-lashers themselves--and their daddies! And their granddaddies and their granddaddies' granddaddies come to think of it... Man, his kink level must have been outrageous to risk opening up a chink in the underarmor like that... To those... People.
Yeah, no, that's I'm sure a massive oversimplification. Maybe this just occurred to me subconsciously as a way to attract random search traffickings. I'll surely metatag it now.
Mountain Man starts bright and early tomorrow morning. Loincloth. Mud. Ceremony. Sacrifice. Go big or go home.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Dispatch from the Cabin of Mazochi

I'm bloogering from Mazochi's cabin right now. He ain't here and the cat's here snoozing. I went po-tu-tu in the po-tot-tay earlier and the cat wouldn't leave me alone. Toby fat cat. Fattie love cat. He emotes so clearly and intensely that I defy you not to feel bashful while you're taking a shit right next to him.
Ah, what else. I had what is known as a Mexican Pizza earlier from 52 Burritos on Foothill. Filled me right up. I had chicken as the meat. Great meat there. The beef is choice, I was told.
I had a run-in with some of Melissa Rauso's friends this afternoon. That was excellent. Good luck to ya'all in Chicago. I'd love to check out a library there sometime.
Hmm. I need to do a huge load of laundry and I'm going to go to a laundromat. I like going to laundromats because of the smell and the white noise. Also the people, of course. In general I like to go to public places where people are waiting where there is a lot of white noise and a good smell, on account of I have a large beard and friendly demeanor and I like that kind of attention.
Andy Ryz is back in town. He was over there in Boston or thereabouts. Looks like they fed him. I wish I could go home.
I have a few tracks that I'm going to release on this blog very soon. I'd like to release them A-side-B-side-wise, like in twofers, or pairs of doves. One, with another fluttering in its excited, feather-frenzied aftermath.
To all cops: when in hot pursuit of a suspect, try blasting "Roundabout," by YES. I think it would give you the kind of rush you need right now.
In my peripheral vision Mazochi's guitar polish looked like a paper elephant for a moment, of a material not unlike that of a Chinese fingertrap.
Our apricot tree just sprouted these beautiful white petals... We had thought it might be dead. Tedd has been dutifully watering it. Josh Oxford used to jump into it when... We were all so very poor. It could happen again. I don't care. Josh is coming for a week's visit tomorrow. He's been accompanying an insane number of recitals or music juries or something like that back in Ithaca, at the music college. He tells me he's burned out, needs a week to settle down, see something new, have an adventure. I can understand that. It's getting warm and nicer out here. I felt some extra sun today. My mood depends more on the weather than anything else I can identify. Gimme a few more days of this and I'll start... Something. Ga ga gargle. Give me regular old, tequila-color Listerine--make me feel like a man. Like I oughtta throw on some aftershave! Well hell! I haven't shaved in about a year! Savin' up for Mountain Man. Yeah. Savin up for somethin.
I got stars in my eyes. But in the last two years I started seeing constellations when I glanced up into the night sky. Not looking for anything in particular; no renewed interest in astronomy or astrology or nuthin. So... That's good. I remember making out with a girl named Gina in a planetarium at summercamp. I ached for two or three days when I went home that summer. Ached for Gina. Lump in the throat, sink in the stomach--the whole bit. But I never wrote her a letter. I still wonder about her.
Well, it feels like the earth is shaking. I'll sign off for now.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Latent UPDATE!

Hello loyal readers, subscribers, underwriters, and chance happenstants!
Well, I really haven't written much since our smash Feb 22 Rock Show... I am personally very busy on projects that will eventually, invariably make their convoluted ways to this very outlet, this very BLOG! very shortly, I can only imaginate. Let me give a quick rundown:

Feb 22 hotel cafe happened, and it was reeal nice playing there on a Friday to such a nice crowd. Busy! And wild. I bloodied up my fingers real nice while I was shredding on the guitar and when I saw how much I was bleeding I played it up a little more. The bleeding. I bled like I was on CAMERA, DAWG! I played up the bleeding.
We played a show at the Roxy's upstairs attic-type establishment, "On the Rox." Heh. Lugged tons of gear up a rickety wood staircase that hugged the Roxy's side wall nakedly. Sound was an issue. But we play wild when the sound guys don't listen. So if you see a show of ours and the sound is off, you'd better get our your umbrellas. We'll be exerting like a pack of wild alpha-beasts.
What else?
I continue to prepare for Project: Mountain Man. Matts Mangs and Enlow are working feverishly on our underground lair, which is being built in the Dome on the Ranch. They have acquired artist William Mendoza for his painting expertise. I will be the star, naturally. Jonas Hawkinus. Ex-folk-pop-star (haha, sounds like ex post facto!) and Prophet for Gaia and the GREAT REVIVAL! Very intense stuff--violence, sex, paternity, substance abuse, magic, meditation, betrayal, and song. The story of a flawed man making sense of a perfect truth. Warts and all! (takes swig from bottle)
I'm working on memorizing and rehearsing. I'm also recording the #2 Appalachia Pop hit, "The Duffel Bag Shuffle." I am doing this in my shed on the Ranch.
RANCH PARTY MARCH @(! Oops. MARCH 29! Tedd and Kevbo made a commercial, and so that is the first commercial. Expect many more. I myself just finished performing in a super-secret Matthew Enlow production of the same nature. I also performed in a Kevbo video game fighter, also of a secret nature. Expect to encounter many of these new outrageous attractions on a blog or video server of some nature near you!
Then! we played at the Viper Room on March 5th, which was noteworthy on account of we never played there before. You might ask, "Didn't Mazochi play there before, once, in a small room with very little amplification?" I would say yes, but it wasn't in the main room, and it wasn't with band. That was a colder night, long ago. This night was hot. And I mean HOT! Heh, again we experienced issue with sound system flexibility... Nice big Marshall amp for me but we couldn't really make ourselves out... So we just made out. With the audience. We turned on our jets and piped some raw-sonique in from the pristine mountain ether which we breathe most days. Really knocked'em out. Got all sweaty and raw. Sticky. Made friends! Looked like this!:

And here you can see Tedd and Laura, our famous Beat-Beat Backyard, ya heard?: